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How to Create the Life You Desire by Shifting Identities

If you’re like me, you’ve found yourself in sticky self-sabotaging situations. Perhaps there’s been a want to lose some weight, pick up a new hobby, eat more real food, quit drinking, or even solo travel. The motivation is palpable. The vision is there. So, you work yourself up to doing the thing, and how exciting it starts to feel!

Then a couple days go on, maybe a few weeks, and there’s a shift. The excitement seems to fade, the feeling not as strong as it was. The emotions of shame and anger creep in as a result. You really thought you wanted to lose those extra pounds, but now you’re feeding into the cravings. Rolling out of bed to work on your new ways of being now feels like pulling teeth. Why of a sudden? What gives?

I know this experience all too well, and I’ve found the root issue, and it is this: it’s not the thing you’re looking to achieve, master, or appreciate more of. It’s the identity you currently represent that’s not matching the energy of what you desire.

What we think, feel, and do today are often patterns that will be repeated tomorrow. Set characteristics that make up who we are. I like to call this the familiar. Opting out of these repetitive behaviors is essentially stepping away from the comfort zone. Our egos do not enjoy this, and at some point, whether it be two days from now, next week, or next month, this part of one’s personality will most likely make itself known and challenge your goals. Then, this can manifest as discomfort, procrastination, and my personal favorite, self-sabotage. Here is where we insert the small habits that make a big difference over time.

Ways to Begin Shifting Identities

Here are 5 life-changing habits and practices to implement in your life that can change the way you think, believe in yourself, and ultimately shift identities:

  • 1. Be honest with yourself.
  • If you have tried again and again to reach a goal but have found there is a “blockage”, you are most likely in a power struggle with your current identity. And that’s okay. Meet yourself exactly where where you’re at. By being brutally honest with yourself and embracing acceptance, you are creating the awareness you need for future empowerment.

  • 2. Get clear with what you want.
  • Write it down in a journal. Jot it on a sticky note. Repeat it out loud as many times as you need. But mainly, understand your “why”. So, when the day comes where you find yourself at a crossroads with where you’re at and where you want to be, your accountability partner will be the words you continue to express.

  • 3. Slow down.
  • This is how you truly change. I’ve personally backtracked plenty of times by being so busy I literally forgot my intentions. Shifting identities requires rewiring of the brain. Our circuitry must be challenged in order for results to occur.

    I’ve made dramatic shifts in my life through the art of presence, meditation, and visualization. It may sound silly, but I’ve had “funerals” for past identities I did not resonate with anymore. Coined by OrganicOlivia, this involves sitting in meditation and visualizing the old version of you “passing”. The new identity stands on the podium, grieving in acceptance and offering a speech to those attending, which could be your current wants and desires. In other words, this is the concept of letting go of old energy, and embracing new energy. To drop into this space, I usually have tea beside me (like this Root Chakra Healing Tea), a candle or essential oil, an eye mask, and a comfy blanket.

  • 4. Question your thought patterns.
  • Get used to talking to yourself. Whether it be out loud or within the mind, inquire about what it is you really want. If you find yourself in a heated debate internally, good. You are in the midst of meeting and working with a part of you that is trying to keep you within your familiar, i.e. the comfort zone. Speak kindly to yourself, and assert the inner parent within. When it comes to shifting identities, there must be an intention to move through the old inner narratives and storytelling. This is part of what is keeping you stuck in the first place.

  • 5. Go out and experience.
  • No amount of books will “wake you up” and propel you towards the dreams of desire. They’re extremely motivating, yes, but not necessarily life-changing. To shift identities is to go out into the world and experience a new identity. You have to face yourself and the temptations that may present themselves. For example, if you’re trying to eat gluten free, you can enjoy all the recipe books you want and cook at home every single day. But, there will be a point in time when you’re out at a coffee shop or dinner and there’s an opportunity to buy a delicious croissant or try your friend’s pasta dish. This is when you get to put your acquired skills to the test. No amount of information can exceed literal experience.

    The Takeaway

    Transparency is the name of my game, and trust me when I say this work is not easy. It can be excruciatingly painful. I have felt the sting of failure when trying to create habits that stick due to the need of certainty and remaining in the familiar. Though the pain of staying exactly where I am far outweighs the pain of change. I can confidently say letting go of my many past patterns and old behaviors has been the most gratifying times in my life. I have walked away with a gained sense of growth, reflection, and resilience more than anything.

    This journey is far from linear. Life is a petri dish of lessons, and when I chose to accept this, I reclaimed the power within. My successes and failures didn’t feel like such extreme highs and lows. They felt more like passing waves. This alone opened me up to a new way of being. Less attachment, and more flow for the things I actually wanted for myself.

    Shifting identities comes with a price: you will lose the old self for a version of you that you’ve longed for.

    A big supporter of yours,
    – Jess

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